Lost Crusader #9

“I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. My strength is dried up…my tongue cleaves to my jaws…the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me…they look and stare upon me. They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture.”

The words are the psalmist’s vision of the crucifixion of Christ. C. S. Lewis once said that great saints and great sinners are made of the same stuff. It took me some time to understand what he was talking about, but, I think I finally got it. The “stuff” they are made from is an inner drive to go all in…to hold nothing back…to sell out to your dream and pursuit in even into the jaws of death.

Whether you are a Christian or not, society works very hard to beat that drive from us at an early age. We are taught to be sensible, be careful…you might get hurt. The advance of that thinking from my childhood to today is as great as the quantum leaps of technology that have taken place in the same span of time. I’m not sure but that technology is partially to blame. Technology swaddles us in a blanket of anonymity that shields us from the consequences of our words and actions. It draws our life down into a screen.

Of course, there are other factors in play here too. Careers and jobs become substitutes for life. Comfort is a thief who steals our hearts and soothes the body. We are savers without any idea what we are saving for and no assurance we will live to use that which we have saved. Being “poured out” is anathema to our culture. Friends and family recoil in shock and horror that we’ve “gone crazy” when we abandon safety for the capricious whims of life on the edge.

It is on the edge, where success and failure; heaven and hell; blessing and cursing; life and death taste the sweetest. The way is clear…all you need is the desire to go there and the willingness to pursue your desires.

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