I had a bit of a battle with myself the other day…actually it went on for about three days. I think a lot of guys like me go through this intermittently. The battle was over the idea behind the old saying, “Nice guys finish last.” Like most old sayings, there is a grain of truth to it and that’s where the thought gets it sting.
I remember once working on a medical floor in a small hospital. The night shift, as far as nurses were concerned) was staffed by me and one other person. One winter I came down with the flu. I was feeling like crap and wanted to call in sick. I didn’t because I didn’t want to leave my buddy hanging all alone as I knew the manager would not try and find a replacement. So, I drug myself into work only to find out my “friend” had no such qualms about leaving me alone. I pulled the entire shift alone with a full house of 16 patients. So much for being Mr. Nice Guy, right?
My little battle was kicked off by reading an article by a couple of guys giving dating advice. According to them, being a nice guy destined would be romantics to the friend zone forever. Given the history of some women’s choices. I had to agree with their conclusions. Women tend to be terrible judges of men (nurses are the worst, by the way). Sorry ladies, you supplied the data.
By the time many women get enough experience to make better choices, they are soured on men in general…leaving the nice guys out in the cold. Besides being cold out there it’s dark and so are the prospects of sunshine. I don’t think there’s anything nice guys can do to change this, it’s too hardwired into human thinking. So what’s a nice guy to do?
Again, I don’t think there’s anything to do. If you’re a nice guy…you’re a nice guy…so be one. There are much worse things you could be. As for love? You will get what you give…eventually, everyone does.
Of course, the upside is that I am speaking in generalities. The man-bashers with their scales for “real men” aren’t worth your trouble. There are nice gals out there too who don’t need to be convinced they aren’t men. They are worth whatever it takes to win one. So, dammit, buy those flowers, open those doors, and be your genuine nice self. You’ll not only feel better, but you will also be better for it, you caveman you.