I have a problem with people who say they are non-judgmental. The problem is that I know these people have opinions. In order to form an opinion, one must make a judgment about whatever happens to be the subject at hand. An opinion says, “I think thus and so about this.” Whether one chooses to admit it or not “I think” is synonymous with “I judge” this to be…whatever the case may be.
So, are non-judgmental people misspeaking or clueless? I prefer to think the former. Because people are full of opinions about the actions, lifestyle, and behaviors of others, I think what non-judgmental types wish to say is that they do not condemn others for their actions, life, and behavior.
It is, in turn, impossible to not be judged by others. Even if you do absolutely there are those who think you lazy or indifferent…or if you never make a judgment…clueless. You are asking others to do what you do not do…refrain from forming an opinion or holding beliefs.
I know it sounds nice and makes one feel all warm and fuzzy to think they are above making judgments about others, but in fact, you are only lying to yourself. The other day I had someone tell me they don’t see color…as in skin color. Now, I’m not certain about this, but I think even those who are truly color-blind can differentiate skin tones.
Despite what society may say in this current moment, being able to distinguish black from white, from brown, from red, from yellow, does not a racist make. Besides you have to be a straight, white male to be racist…there’s no skin color, lifestyle choice or gender determination in that, right?
I think what our society needs when it comes to interpersonal interaction is maturity, real honesty, and compassion. Self-delusion is not getting us anywhere near the unity most of us desire.
Me, I’m a judger of people, places, foods, drink, books, movies, I probably have an opinion on everything under the sun. Ah, you can throw that “probably” out. I ain’t ashamed of a single one of those judgments either. The only shame I ever really feel comes when I look at my own actions that don’t live up to where I wish them to be.