Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

  As I was reading this, I thought I might need several posts to say all I wanted to about this book. I have since decided one post is sufficient. That decision is based on my observation that this is a book for men. As Dr. Gray says in the book, men like short, concise answers. So, here goes.

 We are told in the lengthy introduction how popular and successful the book has been in transforming relationship. Although I didn’t believe it at the outset, the author is being modest. I see the effects of the thinking contained in these pages reflected in the current politically correct thinking and attitudes that rule modern America. Chapter Two sounds incredibly like the television show, Home Improvement. 

 There is not any new or original thinking here. The applications suggested were not new in 1992 when the book was published. What made the book successful is taking the applications from quiet feminine discussions to publishing it for the masses. The relationship mending secrets proposed are based in core tenets of the feminism that followed feminine militarism of the 1960's.

  For Venusians, the book could be subtitled, “How to Train a Martian in Thirteen Not So Easy Lessons.” For Venus, it’s all about how to choose your words to get the proper response, not about altering Venusian behavior. This is not the case for Mars. For Martians, the message of the book may be summed up in this, men must change their barbaric Martian ways. Tell me that is not the message of correctness.

 I said this was a book for men and I stand by this. I cannot imagine a man buying this book and handing it to his wife. Do women need to read it? Absolutely. The trouble is that Venus does not feel the need. Venusians have already decided they are the master race of interpersonal communication. Martians simply need to read and heed for all to be well on Earth. That is why the book is handed to men and not the other way around.

 This is not to say the book is without merit on Mars. Men should read this book. It may not change your thinking or behavior, but it may help you to accept the consequences of a relationship with someone from another planet with greater understanding and compassion. Understanding and compassion are always worth the price of admission.

 On a personal note, reading Dr. Gray’s book has already altered and softened my thinking in a beneficial way. I am not giving up my man cave (the place within a man, not a room in the house). I found that, at least for the immediate future, I am still going to get angry when told how to do chores. I may never understand the Venusian “right” to be upset as a first and immediate response, but I have better options for responding. More choices are a Martian plus. Best of all, I found a new appreciation for my Martian-ness.   

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